


you don't want no beef, boy

by LugianBeforeSwine



Series: Shitfic Collection [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Moped Gang AU, yup you can thank macklemore for this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-19
Updated: 2015-11-19
Packaged: 2018-05-02 09:07:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5242622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LugianBeforeSwine/pseuds/LugianBeforeSwine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>The source of both Oikawa’s elation and misery was currently putting his way down the street amidst the heavy traffic, looking frazzled and anxious and yet all the more handsome for it.</i>
</p>
<p>Oikawa is the leader of a moped gang. Iwaizumi is just trying to get to work on time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you don't want no beef, boy

It was 6pm on a Thursday and Oikawa was in his usual spot outside the convenience store. His moped was parked next to a bike rack a few feet behind him, shimmering in the early evening sun. Oikawa was waiting for two things to occur. The first was for the other members of his gang to arrive so that they could patrol, and the second was for _him_ to ride his beat-up, unwashed moped straight through the center of Oikawa’s territory.

The former occurred before the latter, as Oikawa startled with a very manly “Eek!” immediately followed by “Makki! Don’t sneak up on people like that!”

“I wouldn’t have ‘snuck up’ on you if you hadn’t been so preoccupied.” Hanamaki pocketed his keys and glanced around briefly. “He’s a little late today, isn’t he?”

“Hmm,” Matsukawa agreed as he walked back from parking his own moped. “Maybe your creepy staring has finally convinced him to take an alternate route.”

“Excuse me!” Oikawa replied petulantly, glancing between his two snickering friends. “I do not stare, and even if I did, I’m certainly not _creepy_ about it!”

“Sure,” Hanamaki said obligingly.

“Right,” Matsukawa added.

Oikawa sighed. “I’m not even sure why I allow you guys to— _oh_.” Oikawa’s breath caught in his throat and he choked a little, which spurred him into a minor coughing fit. His friends tried their best not to laugh, and failed.

The source of both Oikawa’s elation and misery was currently putting his way down the street amidst the heavy traffic, looking frazzled and anxious and yet all the more handsome for it. Oikawa recovered just in time to see the man, dressed in jeans and a hoodie, send what appeared to be a scowl in his direction as the traffic crept forward and out of Oikawa’s line of sight.

There was a brief moment of silence following the attractive man’s disappearance into rush hour, which was eventually broken by Hanamaki. “Well,” he began, “do you think you finally seduced him this time?”

Oikawa flashed him a bright smile, practiced and plastic. “I don’t know, Makki!” he said cheerfully. “Maybe I’ll find out next week!”

Matsukawa lightly cuffed them both over their heads. “Alright, enough bickering, children. We’re already running late.”

-

Oikawa’s moped gang was not so much a gang as it was a weekly gathering of himself and his two best friends who both also happened to own mopeds, and their turf was not so much turf as it was the area between their three separate apartment buildings. Nevertheless, they patrolled every Thursday, making sure that everything in the area was in order (no old ladies having their purses snatched from them, no helpless kittens stuck in trees, no one putting out their garbage before 8 o’clock since Friday was garbage day.) They had been at this for a little over a year, every Thursday evening without fail, even when it was pouring rain or below freezing outside. But the last two months had been different. Oikawa and his gang had never seen anyone else ride a moped through their turf until the mysterious handsome man had appeared. Since the first week they had seen him, he had ridden past the convenience store where Oikawa worked at the same time every Thursday, a half hour after Oikawa’s shift ended. He had messy black hair and piercing eyes, and was always dressed in casual clothes.

Naturally, Oikawa was curious. Curiosity quickly turned to fascination and before Makki and Mattsun could say ‘helpless’ Oikawa had found himself with a full-blown crush, despite never having the opportunity to even look at the man for more than a few seconds at a time.

When the next Thursday rolled around, Oikawa was in the stock room at 5 o’clock, gathering up the last few cases of water bottles they had had delivered earlier that day and fervently wishing that it was 6 o’clock already. With the cases stacked up to his eyes and the muscles in his arms trembling from the weight, he toed open the stock room door and peeked around the bottles to make sure he didn’t run into anyone. He made it a grand total of three steps before he stopped dead. There, in the aisle directly in front of him, was the attractive moped man, casually looking over some candy and weighing the packages in his hands.

Oikawa dropped the cases of water. The noise was deafening, and everyone that Oikawa could see jumped a little and turned to look at him, including his secret crush.

“Umm,” Oikawa said.

“Are you okay?” the gorgeous man asked, throwing the candy back on the shelf and walking quickly towards Oikawa.

Oikawa’s mouth opened and closed. “Ahh,” he said finally, rooted to the spot as the man reached him. “Umm. Yes.”

“Hey,” the man said suddenly. “You’re…” he trailed off.

“Hi,” Oikawa tried. “I’m Oikawa Tooru. You ride a moped past here every Thursday at 6.” He meant to stop after introducing himself, but the words spilled out of his mouth without any input from his brain. He cringed, belatedly, and the confused expression on the other man’s face gave way to a small, amused smile. Oikawa felt as though he might collapse at any second.

“Yeah,” he said, “and you always stand on the street out here and watch me.”

Oikawa winced. It sounded really bad and really, really creepy when it was put that way. “I—” he started, oblivious to the people who had to step around his water bottle mess on the floor, “I don’t—it’s not like—”

“It’s okay,” the other man said. Oikawa swore he saw the faintest tinge of pink rise on his cheeks. “I always look for you, too.” He paused briefly before adding, “I’m Iwaizumi Hajime. You want some help cleaning those up?” He gestured to the bottles on the floor.

Oikawa’s mind was stuck in a repeating loop of _Iwaizumi Hajime, Iwaizumi Hajime, what a lovely name_ , so he didn’t immediately register what the other man had said. “Oh, no!” he exclaimed when his brain finally caught up. “It’s my mistake. I’ll take care of it.”

“If you’re sure,” Iwaizumi said. There was a brief silence while they both stared at each other, then Iwaizumi cleared his throat and said, “Well. Umm. I better get going to work, so…”

“Can I please have your number,” Oikawa blurted out. He felt as though he was going to melt into a puddle of pure embarrassment, but the situation didn’t seem quite so dire when Iwaizumi grinned at him.

“Yeah,” he said, and pulled out his phone.

-

It’s a Thursday at 6pm, and Oikawa is waving goodbye to Iwaizumi as he turns out onto the street and towards the hospital where he works. Matsukawa and Hanamaki stand behind Oikawa, mimicking his shy wave and unabashedly love-struck expression. Iwaizumi turns around and bursts out laughing, but he waves back at Oikawa with a similar expression.

“You guys are hopeless,” Matsukawa says as Iwaizumi disappears from sight.

“Absolutely hopeless,” Hanamaki agrees.

“You’re just jealous because Iwa-chan is the perfect boyfriend,” Oikawa says, smiling serenely as he turns toward his moped. He swings a leg over the side and pops the kickstand up, inclining his head at his friends. “Now let’s go.”

**Author's Note:**

> talk to me about mopeds (or iwaoi, I guess) at deadpan-snarker.tumblr.com


End file.
